Dear Kings Cs Readers: help me make sense of my existence

Dear Kings Cs Readers: help me make sense of my existence

From a female LIB reader

Linda I'm 40years old today and I'm the saddest person alive. So I'm writing this letter today to God through your blog hoping somebody somewhere can help me make sense of my life.. 

Dear God, 

I'm 40 today and I hate the life you have given me. This isn't living. Being dead is better than this. Haba God, after my sacrifice, after serving you in truth and in spirit. You bring me shame? I have no money, no kids, no husband and you want me to continue serving u. Haha, you are joking right? 

From 18, I served your church till now, when my mates were busy having sex with their future husbands I was in church for praise and worship, cleaning chairs, going for revival, visitation, paying my tithes. etc. Continue...

Dear God, you no try! If I were you, I would have blessed me since. I never disobeyed my parents while they were alive. I read my bible daily, I was a virgin till I was 31 for Christ sake. Haba!

People told me, leave ikotun and move to the island. There are husbands there. I moved, nothing. They told me, change your church, I changed. Still nothing. Lose ur virginity, men dont like mature virgins, I lost it. What strategy have I not tried.

My mates that aren't married have money, and if they don't have money they have kids. Why have you chosen to humiliate me like this? Was I wrong to give up my virginity at 31? Is that why you are not fair to me, if that's the reason, all my friends and siblings stopped being virgins in their early 20s and they are all married with children. So that can't be. Or maybe my reward isn't here on earth. Oya take me, let me rest. I'm asthmatic, I'm lonely, I'm poor and not happy. This is too much. Too much 

Linda, libers somebody, anybody, please explain to me what I have done wrong. How does God work? Because I can't seem to make sense of my existence here on earth